


Liquidation

by citrusfriend



Series: Poetry [35]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Addiction, Coming of Age, Eating Disorders, Gen, Growing Up, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, Poetry, Recovery, Relapsing, Self-Acceptance, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Self-Reflection, Sharks, Starvation, also this is a no hate on sharks zone okay, love those motherfuckers, this is happier than it sounds i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29551002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusfriend/pseuds/citrusfriend
Summary: When I was a child, I feared these shark-infested watersas much as I loved to bleed in it.
Series: Poetry [35]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1320233
Kudos: 2





	Liquidation

Old habits never die; they dilute into water.  
Stagnant, simple, silent,  
until a ripple causes a wave.  
Stress skips stones  
until a wave becomes the ocean.  
Old habit awakens the sea monster of self-harm:  
I wake without sleeping,  
I bleed without cutting,  
I starve without hunger,  
I sleep without waking.

Old relapses never die; they ebb and flow into the tide.  
You cannot built a fort around the ocean,  
you cannot bury the sea.  
When all is calm, when all is settled,  
I build buoys to sustain me  
and I collect flairs I've never used.  
I practice how to float,  
I learn to swim,  
I build a boat,  
I find a life vest in him.

When I was a child, I feared these shark-infested waters  
as much as I loved to bleed in it.  
Now, I know that the sharks have always lived in the water.  
Here, I am the invader,  
but the land has rejected me,  
so I must merge myself to the ocean  
and forge myself a tail.  
I still have nightmares of drowning.  
I wake like I'm cusping a wave.  
And for a moment, the light of the dawn,  
reflected on the water like a canvas,  
crystallizes the ripple.

**Author's Note:**

> 2/18/21


End file.
